Wild West Land Blog

Just watched this hilarious BBC video about an Irish bovine ‘invader’ - a runaway bull who escaped and decided to pay a quick visit to the Cummins’ SuperValu store in Ballinrobe, County Mayo:

Two things to note:

1. The CCTV footage shows a brave meat counter man (with food hygiene hat) who plays matador with a supermarket trolley. Get that man a medal now!
2. Good on John Cummins, owner of the store, to see the funny side and make a joke about ‘fresh meat’. He should get the bull stuffed and mounted outside the front of the shop for posterity.

The last 8 years have been tough on the Budweiser boys…

It seems Mel Brooks got it right all those years ago in that classic comedy campfire scene from the 1974 hit Blazing Saddles - farting is funny and may also be good for you!

At least that’s what I take from this science story on the BBC website: ‘Fart gas’ link to blood pressure. According to scientists at Johns Hopkins University, smelly hydrogen sulphide is “produced by an enzyme in blood vessels where it relaxes them and lowers blood pressure.”

Researcher Dr Solomon Snyder said: “Now we know hydrogen sulphide’s role in regulating blood pressure, it may be possible to design drug therapies that enhance its formation as an alternative to the current methods of treatment for hypertension.”

The image that comes to my mind is the Vicks ’stick’ nasal inhaler:

If in future you find yourself in a high stress situation and feel your chest tightening simply reach for your handy ‘fart pen’, take a quick whiff and feel the tension within melt away. I can see the marketing ad on TV now!

A cheaper alternative would be to watch again one of the greatest American comedies of all time - coming in at number six in the AFI’s 100 Years… 100 Laughs list. And so, without any apologies, I offer you the YouTube video Blazing Saddles - Farting Cowboys. It’s less than a minute long and just think of the health benefits!

Taking the fart gag too far? “How ’bout some more beans Mr Taggart?”

I keep driving past new, green McDonald’s outlets on my scooter travels around London. I don’t mean green in the ethical consumer sense but in the coloured frontage style many of the restaurants are now taking on.

I have to admit I don’t eat in Maccy-D’s all that often any more after reading Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser. This isn’t due to a paranoid fear of the food but because I’m supposed to be looking after my health being over the age of 35 and with a worryingly high incidence of heart disease in the family genes. Plus if I ate too many cheeseburgers I’d need to invest in some haggar® Heritage Expandomatic® Trousers.

When I was a child McDonald’s were all bright reds and yellows with upbeat piped music all alledgely designed to ensure a rapid turnover of clientele who were subconsciously primed to eat more at a faster pace. Green on the other hand, I assume, will bring a noughties-style feeling of natural, organic healthiness to the brand.

Given the company’s legal resources I’ll move rapidly along to the real reason for this post - cow care top tips!

This new fangled internet has been around a fair few years now revolutionising the way all kinds of things happen and it’s only fair that farmers - traditionally thought of as being behind the times - should also make use of the joys of Web 2.0.

After stumbling across The Beef Blog I have discovered a whole world of online resources for cattle farmers including podcasts on iTunes, Chicago Board of Trade agricultural prices via text message and dedicated YouTube channels.

Jenni Glenn writes in the Fort Wayne, Indiana, Journal Gazette newspaper:

Think of it as moo media… Cattle farmers anywhere in the world can pull up YouTube’s Web site and watch Purdue University’s videos on grazing and breeding techniques… Online video channels and podcasts are building on a long tradition of agricultural radio shows, TV programs and magazines.

Purdue - the alma mater of the first and last men to walk on the moon - is obviously the place to go for beef betterment (Cattle Farming and Ranching 101) as well as rocket science.

If you really want to look after your cows though take a tip from this Oklahoma Cattle Hauler on Deb Goodrich’s great blog ‘Mason-Dixon Wild West’. After all, you want to ensure your cattle ride to market in style so what better way to recycle a battered Oldsmobile than to chop off the top and make room for one of your herd? I don’t think it’s a Photoshop job…

Hmm, Politics. “Never talk about Sex, Politics or Religion” so the saying goes. What with the 2008 US election turning into a frenzy of insults and dirt digging how can you avoid it?

My interest piqued when the odd man of British comedy, Russell Brand, decided to make the most of his invite to host the MTV music awards and make a few headlines by insulting the most powerful man in the world:

I know America to be a forward thinking country because otherwise why would you have let that retard and cowboy fella be president for eight years…

Well Russell certainly knows how to make an entry into a nation’s hearts, especially when you consider how John McCain’s choice of running mate Sarah Palin has gone down a storm.

What connection does this have with the Wild West you may ask, beyond the most famous cowboy in the world? Well this great story by Joe Bageanton on the BBC’s Today website made me smile.

Joe suggests that “John McCain’s choice of the moose-shooting Alaskan woman with the pregnant unmarried teen daughter appeals to many redneck and working class Americans” and that said rednecks are enjoying their new found fame what with the fact they make up “at least a third of all voters and no US president has ever been elected without our support”.

Redneck Spotters Guide:

We come in one size: extra large. We are sometimes insolent and often quick to fight. We love competitive spectacle such as NASCAR and paintball, and believe gun ownership is the eleventh commandment.

My post today on resurrecting the open range through the wonders of modern technology reminded me of the wonderful TV advert that the IT systems company EDS ran during and after Super Bowl XXXIV on 30 January 2000.

If you haven’t seen it before (it’s a well loved YouTube video) then sit back, relax and enjoy “Herding Cats”, the cowboy way: